Hey You Guys!

Sprite Can Spice Up Your Sex Life

2009-07-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

All The Single Ladies

2009-07-17T13:14:00.001-07:00

Get ready to jump on this!! I found this picture (obviously I googled "biggest douche on the planet in a gay outfit") and I wanted to share it with the world. I don't even think that's money in his banana hammock, I think they are maps trying to lead him to a better life. Good luck, Long Duck Dong!

No Sharting Zone!

2009-06-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have neck pain or just need to wipe with dignity, this product is a gem!! I'm buying mine today!

Ahhhh Weddings!

2009-06-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

And it's off to Medieval Times for the reception!

The Many Faces of Tay!

2009-06-10T11:39:00.001-07:00

A Picture Says A Thousand Words!

2009-06-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

And scene.

What's Happening?

2009-06-09T17:44:00.001-07:00

Hey You Guys is back, but not with a vengeance! Just for funzies!

TGIF!!! This One's For Ash!

2008-11-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

Finger Lickin' Good!!!

2008-11-07T16:48:00.000-08:00

Katie and Tom have been working around the clock to teach Suri how to communicate with her home planet Xenu! Nah, she's just telling the Papps where to go! Work it girl!

God Bless America

2008-09-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to take a minute to remember 9/11 and the all the people who lost their lives and the friends and family that survived them. I am holding them close to my heart today, as I'm sure every other American is doing the same.

Below are photos of the war ship USS New York, which was built from the scrap metal of the World Trade Centers and made in to a Navy ship that is dedicated to fighting terrorism.

TGIF!!!

2008-09-05T18:34:00.001-07:00

Phelps In Training!!!

2008-09-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

Now that the Olympics are over Aquaman... I mean Michael Phelps has put his flippers away and is looking for a new sport to get gold. I'm assuming that's what he's doing here at the Playboy Club in Las Vegas. I've heard he's petitioning the IOC to make "Ass Grabbing" an official Olympic sport that could be played at BOTH the winter and summer games! Good Luck Michael!!!

Lovin' The Duchovin'!!!

2008-09-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

OK, so it's old news that Davey D. has entered rehab for sex addiction, but stories are leaking like a broken faucet all over the internet. First it was reported by a "friend" (PR spinbot is more like it) that Dave liked to surf the net and diddle his doodle. Reports are now surfacing that he put his doodle in more sockets then just online!!! Women are coming forward and sharing their seX-Files with the world.

Well not to get left out, here's my story... I had a friend who worked on the movie "Evolution." She told me that Dave's wife was calling constantly to find out if the D man was hooking up while on set. His personal trainer was fired mid-way thru the shoot and a man was brought in to buff Dave up (I guess instead of off)! I went to the "Evolution" premiere and as I passed him by the bar, he goosed my bottom! I was like Marsha Brady when Desi Arnez, Jr. kissed her cheek, but instead I was like "I will never wash this butt cheek again."

No More White Elephants!!!

2008-09-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

This is every woman's dream -- a website to custom pick a gift for you! You don't have to even get married or have a baby... It's like registering for your life!! Sign this bitch up!

Pete Cashmore reveals the worst gift he's ever given! from PerkettPR on Vimeo.

Kill Speidi!!! Part 1,120,652

2008-08-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

After several requests for a kill Speidi post, I must oblige.

I love you all for reminding me everyday that these two a-holes deserve to die!!!

p.s. I'm running out of serial killers. I'm taking requests!

TGIF!!!

2008-08-22T16:24:00.001-07:00

Vanilla Ice Is Going To Schling A Schlong!

2008-08-18T23:05:00.000-07:00

Just got done watching Vanilla Ice's opus "Cool As Ice" and I'm convinced without a shadow of a doubt that it is the best worst movie of all time!!! Quotable factor... a perfect 10!

"Drop that zero and get with the hero!"
"I'm gonna go across the street and, uh, schling a schlong."
"You're not wasting my time, I'm just cooling."
"Being true to yourself, you ain't true to nobody. Live your life for someone else, you ain't livin'!"
"It ain't where your from, it's where you at."
"Yep, yep"

Not to mention (and I'm going to get completely reamed for this) Ice is super hot in this film!!! For those of you laughing your ass off right now, set your tivo and get back to me. Yeah, he's a total douche not going to argue that and his clothes are without a doubt neon fresh -- but, kids, he's f-ing gorgeous!

Have We Finally Gone Too Far???

2008-08-15T15:18:00.000-07:00

China isn't the only country recruiting the underage!!! It has come to my attention the the US Government has been recruiting soldiers on the hit show Seasme Street!!! The producers of the show claim they had no idea that Cookie Monster was secretly sending messages to children telling them to join the military to fight in the Iraq War!

Actually this is a pic of my niece and nephew, Halle and Justin, dressed in our fam's military garb. Both my cousin and her husband are in the Middle East fighting for our country. Love to Jen and Josh for their dedication fighting for freedom and the American Way!

"Don't Say Noffin"

2008-08-14T16:04:00.000-07:00

This one goes out to Tay Tay!

Dancing With The Stars Goes Bat Wild!

2008-08-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it Adam West is thinking about joining "Dancing With The Stars!" This will be the best coup since Jerry Springer! Rock on Batman!

No Protesters Allowed!!!

2008-08-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

So I drove past the premiere of "Tropic Thunder" the other nite (I was circling the block while my hubby was picking up a pizza at LaMonicas in Westwood -- p.s. for those of you who live in LA, LaMonicas is the best frigging pizza on the westside) and I noticed a huge wall of hedges. I was like WTF??? Turns out a bunch of Special Olympic protesters were there putting the kibosh on the swanky star studded premiere! Can you imagine the red carpet lined with protesters from the Special Olympics? Tres gauche!!

The worst part??? Robert Downey Jr. fans didn't get to see the stash make it's way down the red carpet! Luckily the paps were there to save the day on that one.

Simon le Douche!

2008-08-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

After all these years Simon le Bon is still a total creepy weirdo! Get your hand out of your speedos. I love the swimmers goggles and sagging boobs. It totally adds to the whole picture!!! Listen, I'm not going to lie, I was a total Durany in the 80s. That said I totally fancied John Taylor (which may even be gayer, I'm not sure... I'm going to need a ruling on that).Is JT sporting a mullet?

The Haimster Is Back... Back On Crack!!!

2008-07-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

This has to be one of my fav vids of the month. Not only is Corey snorting druggos in his trailer, the Feldog is in full Frog Brother gear -- love the Latoya Jackson headband. FIERCE!!!

Also, watch for the Haimster's cracked out dance when he finally reaches the set. He's all over the place. Crazy Crack Head!

Guess Who's Got A Bun In The Oven???

2008-06-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

Alison Sweeney, who plays Sammi the former up to no gooder on our fav soap Days of Our Lives, is preggers with her second child!!! While taping an episode of The Biggest Loser, Alison told them “in a season about family, (mine) is about to get bigger.”

We, here at Hey You Guys wish Alison the best and can't wait for her to be a mommy again. Also, we can't wait for her alter-ego Sammi to dump Lucas (aka the Turtle) and get back together with the oh so hot EJ (pictured below just for shiz and giggs).

Casper Buys His Groceries Just Like Us!

2008-06-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

I stopped off at PC Greens in Malibu last night to pick up some organic all natural no hormone crap when who did I spy pulling up in his sporty silver Mercedes??? Casper Van Dien aka Hottie McHot Hot! He's a little short for my taste, but still super cute. He was wearing a red T-shirt and blue shorts. In his basket... blue corn chips and cheese. No pic as of course I left my phone in the car! I am the worst blogger of all time. Oh well!

TGIF!!!

2008-06-20T18:15:00.001-07:00

A Couple That Does Yoga Together Stays Together!

2008-06-16T16:54:00.000-07:00

Our very own Celeb Super Snooper, Tay Tay was at Yogahop (the studio in Santa Moncia on Montana) where she did hip hop yoga right NEXT to Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. Tay tells me that Reese was a hip hop yoga pro, but Jake's moves needed a little work. The celebs left halfway thru the class, as I am sure our own gossip guru was making them uncomfortable. Reece was sporting a black cut off tank top along with black Nike pants with the white stripe. Jake was wearing an old white t-shirt and blue Addidas shorts and a baseball cap (Tay thinks Red Sox). Tay also went on to tell me that they were SUPER cute together and very in love! AWWWWW!

Of course, here at HYG we have no cell phones with cameras so we just have to describe it the best we can. It's that ghetto-licious!

TGIF!!!!

2008-06-13T23:12:00.001-07:00

Twitter Whore!

2008-06-11T12:02:00.001-07:00

OMG! It's been like a hundred years since my last posting. LOL!

Tori and Dean!!

2008-06-05T16:58:00.000-07:00

It's a bird... It's a plane... naw, it's just Tori and Dean!

So I guess these "Tori & Dean" sky writings were all over town. I was getting my latte at Starbucks when I saw this. Unfortunately, I only had my camera phone, so I had to piece together the photos so you can see the whole thing. I'm wondering if the expectant mom finally popped or is this just another publicity stunt since nobody cares who they are anymore?

Seperated At Birth!!!

2008-06-05T16:16:00.000-07:00

It has been brought to my attention (thank you, Assley) that convicted murderer Scott Peterson looks a lot like Bryan Dattilo from Days of Our Lives (who we affectionately call the Turtle)! Note to the producers at DOOL, is there any way to take out the sound of Bryan's nose whistle? It is very distracting.

I'm sorry Dean Cain move over, Turtle should have been cast in that remake.

Just A Shout Out To A Special Friend!

2008-06-03T17:17:00.000-07:00

Love you, Missy!

Dina Lohan Actually Appeared In Court Today!

2008-06-03T16:05:00.000-07:00

I think her peeps told her she was getting another bullshiz mother of the year award when hot tranny mess Dina Lohan showed up at the courthouse and realized she had to deal with blabber-mouth ex-hubby Michael. P.S. was it not high-larious that Dina was celebrating herself at some party when the house was on fire and the kids were home alone? My fav was when 10-year-old brother was the only one with any sense to call the flipping fire dept. All I have to say is I lost brain cells watching "Living Lohan" that I will never get back. Thanks to the Lohans for making me even more stupid!

Coco's Freak Of The Week!!!

2008-05-30T17:18:00.001-07:00

Okay, so this is Matt Hooker aka Nicole Kidman's stalker!!! A while back he was going to run for President of the United States in 2004. Unfortunately, he was too busy being crazy to actually run for office. However, here is a high-larious article on Mr. Hooker on why he should run for Governor... http://blacktable.com/zulkey030904.htm

This dude is so bat shiz crazy that he used to have entire websites dedicated to the voices in his head. Sadly, he has taken them all down. But luckily here is a snippet:

E! Online reported on July 18th that Hooker had claimed he himself is being stalked... by Ben Affleck. In a rambling statement on his beautifulbutdangerous.com Web site, Hooker claims that Affleck has stalked him 5 times, generally wearing a fake moustache and "dressed like a Frenchman." The statement details alleged stalking and conspiracies by various others, such as a guy who beat him up in high school. He claims these conspirators are intent on harrassing him, stealing ideas from him and discrediting him, and that "a group of pot and cocaine users has it out for me."

Hooker also claimed that magician David Copperfield had also been stalking him.

On a personal note: This guy used to be my tutor in jr. high... no lie! Also, my nanny was on America's Most Wanted. I'm not sure if my mom is the best judge of character. But whateves! It sure explains a lot about me though :)

Bill Murray A Crazy Abusive Hubby??? No Way! Okay, Maybe A Little!

2008-05-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

Bill Murray's wife of 11 years, Jennifer, is divorcing him on the grounds that he smokes pot and drinks a lot. Oh and may smack her around! Pssshhh! Bitch, that's nothing... walk a day in David Gest's shoes when he was married to Liza. Remember how she would throw vodka bottles at his head!!! Gotta love Liza!

Any hooters, the soon to be ex-Mrs. Murray claims that he hit her in the face and said "You're lucky I don't kill you!" Then allegedly skeedaddled off to Europe and slept with a bunch of hookers. I'm not sure, but this smells a lot like the wifey's pissed she signed a pre-nup that gives her basically nothing and she's trying to Denise Richards her way out of it!!!

This is Hollywood, lady... suck it up!

Thanks to Eric for bringing this story to my attention :)

Manbabies???

2008-05-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

This website just landed in my inbox and I thought I would share it with the world!!

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back To Bed!!!

2008-05-27T16:55:00.000-07:00

Some poor kid in England was just trying to catch some Zs when he was attacked by a shark!! Okay, so that's not exactly how it happened, but it sounds good. For reals, this teenage sleepwalker took a midnight stroll and walked right into the teeth of a dead souvenir shark from a family vacation. Ouch!

The teeth left blood pouring from the teen’s face, his mother, Susan, told Metro.co.uk.

“It was like something out of a horror film,” she said. “The shark must have been embedded in Sam's cheek for about 15 minutes and he was in a lot of pain.”

In the end, Hawthorne came away with only a small scar. “It was the most frightening experience of my life!"

I'll bet!

TGIF!!!

2008-05-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

And The Hijinx Ensues With "Buford's Beach Bunnies"!!!

2008-05-22T16:38:00.000-07:00

Buford's Beach Bunnies Trailer - Free videos are just a click away
So this was one of those movies I used to stay up late and watch on USA Up All Nite!!! Tom Hanks' brother stars in the movie as Buford (Forest Gump 1.0) who eventually bangs a bunny! Enjoy the trailer!

"Ob La Di, Ob La Da... Life Goes On"

2008-05-22T16:31:00.000-07:00

Corky from "Life Goes On" is in a band!!! Loves it! Precious moments right here, folks!

There is a rumor about a Christmas album, but I was unable to find it online. If anyone knows where to find the elusive Corky Christmas album, let me know!

AAAHHHHH!!! Trainwreck!

2008-05-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

This pic of the Olsen twins is so frightening I had to post it! Mary Kate is turning into a troll, while Ashley seems to be growing into a semi attractive woman.

Scandal-alert:
A source told OK! (via The Scoop), “The barista (at their local Starbucks) thought the Olsens were too thin, so whenever they ordered their usual drink, he would replace the skim milk with full-fat."

Personally, I think the barista was putting ugly sauce in MK's coffee! I'm going to be afraid to look under my bed tonite!!

And The American Idol Is...

2008-05-21T23:29:00.000-07:00

Thank God!!!

Rehab Is For Quitters!!!

2008-05-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Another one bites the dust kids! Aerosmith frontman, Stephen Tyler has checked in to rehab. Honestly, he's an old timer... he should fly to Germany, have his blood transfused and then get back in the crack pipe saddle! I mean that's what Keith Richards would do. Rehab? Et tu, Stephen... et tu???

2gether At Last!!

2008-05-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

He's been rumored to have worn a wedding dress when getting married to David Geffen in Malibu... She's a Rodeo Drive shoplifting felon... together, they're Hollywood's newest super couple!!!

According to Star mag, the two have been canoodling on the set of their new film "Pippy Longstocking Goes To Hell"... I mean "The Privates Lives of Pippa Lee" - awww, same thing! A source said they are always in each other's trailers. The source went on to say, "They are also always hugging on the set. The chemistry is really electric." Electric??? Let's get real, the only time Keanu ever had chemistry was with all the dudes in "Much Ado About Nothing" -- and if it couldn't get any better, someone made a vid of this ghastly, yet homo-erotic performance.

Anywho, Mazel tov to the happy couple!

Sick and Wrong!!!

2008-05-20T11:44:00.001-07:00

I'm already regretting this post as I write about a new book called "No Regrets: The Best, Worst, & Most #$%*ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever"!!! Above is probably the most ridiculous drunken nightmare of all time. I would rather wake up next to dead hooker in a hotel room in TJ than end up with this following me around my entire life. This tattoo is my Jacob's Ladder!

TGIF!!!

2008-05-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

Viva Groove Tube!

Seperated At Birth!!!

2008-05-16T17:20:00.000-07:00

Is is just me or does Work Out's Erika Jacobson more than resemble Angelina Jolie? The weird part? No one on the show EVER mentions it! Even weirder??? Erika has this bad self image of herself. If I looked in the mirror everyday and looked like Angie, I'd be like "to everyone in the world... suck it!"

The Gloves Are Off... Er, On!!

2008-05-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

So it is down to the bottom two on American Idol... David Cook, the 25-year-old bartender from Blue Springs, MO and David Archuleta, the 17-year-old Mormon from Murray, Utah! Who will snatch the title??? Will it be David or David???

Honestly, I think Cook should take the crown, but with all the Disney tweeners out there, Archuleta could win the whole tamale!!!

When Bitchy Goes Wrong!!!

2008-05-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

So, last week on Bravo's hit show "Work Out" (side note: I'm obsessed with this show) the shiz hit the fan when lesbian gym guru and star of WO, Jackie Warner, and her assistant Omarosa... I mean Lisa... made some snotty remarks about a client's boobs. It turns out the client's boyfriend heard the conversation and informed the two gossip girls that his girlfriend was a breast cancer survivor -- OOOOOPPPSSS!!!

According to assistant Lisa's blog, she claims "I apologized for the exact words I used immediately after her boyfriend walked out of the office. Her boyfriend was totally cool and understood, but wanted an apology from Jackie and not on behalf of her, as he overheard her making comments as well."

When the trainer of the client, Brian Peeler, confronted Jackie, she told him to get his shiz and get out! Well, that is exactly what Gatorade has told Jackie when they pulled their sponsorship of the show!!! It's a bitch when Karma comes back on you so quickly!

Jackie claims that she never said anything and it was all Lisa and the producer's editing and Peeler painting her the villain. Next she will be blaming global warming.

Ms. Warner needs immediate crisis media training for this issue. She needs to apologize on behalf of her gym and its employees and give free training to breast cancer patients around the world. Hey, it worked for Dog the Bounty Hunter. Remember "Santa Dog"???

And They Say Brit Brit Can't Multi-Task!!!

2008-05-13T23:37:00.000-07:00

It may not be rocket science, but I find this progress!!! What's next? Gorging Cheetos while cooking up moonshine? Dreams can come true!

My only question: how is it she looks thin one day and preggers the next? Photo faux pas or living in her own fun house mirror? I don't give a crap... Go Team Brit!

Wish I Was Fishing!

2008-05-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry y'all (suddenly I'm from Texas) that I've been home sick since Friday :(

I will be back tomorrow!!!

TGIF!!

2008-05-09T16:13:00.000-07:00

One of my fav songs from the 80s! Enjoy!!!

Is Nick A Dick?

2008-05-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

I have to be honest when this whole Nick Hogan crashing the car thing started I was def carrying a torch in the mob lynch, but now that I heard he plead "no contest" and asked for his punishment... I'm starting to feel like he's not such a monster after all. Don't get me wrong, he's still a complete douche, but a douche with some heart. Unlike his skanky tranny sister who wore her latest get up from Tramps R Us to court... this beyatch is all class saying "It's hard being a celebrity."

Anyway, before being sentenced, Nick said "I'll never, ever be able to tell John 'sorry' enough times to make up for what happened on Aug. 26. I loved John to death. He was like my oldest brother and my best friend. I'm ready to take my punishment."

And he will serve 8 months in prison, a suspended his drivers license for 3 years, 5 years probation, 500 hours of community service and he cannot drink during his probation (no way Nick will be able to pull this off) and have to complete a booze education program within the year.

Oh, why couldn't it have been Brooke???

Kill Speidi!!! Part... Six I Think?

2008-05-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

Many requests have been made for more Kill Speidi and I have no problem filling the demand. I am now taking requests for killers, so feel free. This pic of Pet Cemetery's Gabe was sent to me, so who am I not to give Gabe a chance to finish the job so many before him could not. Good luck, Gabe. May the evil demons be with you!!!

The World Is Going To Pot... Part Three!

2008-05-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

Sick and wrong, folks! According to the Houston Chronicle, two idiot jouvies went to a cemetery, dug up a corpse, decapitated it and then lit up using the head as a bong!

The dickheads below, Matthew Gonzalez and Kevin Jones have been charged with the misdemeanor offense of "abuse of a corpse"... WTF? So basically anyone can just dig up a body and do ANYTHING to it and it's all just some lousy misdemeanor. The dead really have no rights at all.

Valtrex, Anyone???

2008-05-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

So I got this tip from a VERY reliable source that I promised not to reveal -- but apparently these kooky Dawson's Creek kids passed herpes among themselves so much, they created a Hollywood Super Strain!

I honestly think you can't be famous in Hollywood anymore unless you have a super strain of herpes. Luckily, they are easily obtained. Paris' super herps are so super you can catch them just by standing next to her!!! Don't take it from me, there are about a million satisfied customers.

Amy Winehouse In The Big House!!!

2008-05-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

Amy Wino has been arrested for possession! GASP!!! I can't believe this! It's time to get Wino on Celebrity Rehab and be done with this shiz!

Allegedly she was brought into Scotland Yard for questioning, when the officer popped in a tape of her smoking crack and snorting coke. Dude, everyone saw that on YouTube like 5 years ago! I'm not sure Scotland yard is too up on things. I think they are waiting for Sherlock Holmes to cruise in and solve the case!

I'm wondering if she and Blake can get conjugals even though they are both in jail. Also, I have to discuss the below pic... WTF??? She's wearing pull-ups and a do rag -- not to mention the jar of mayo which I'm going to ignore as it's just too freaky to think about what she's going to use it for. I'm assuming from all the drug use, she's forgotten how to brush her nasty weave and use the potty!

High-larious Castro Disastro!!!

2008-05-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

So tonite on Idol, Paula's drunken antics were upstaged by Jason Castro and his mighty bong!!! Not making the case for medical marijuana, Castro totally bit the doobie tonite with his high-jinx! The first song was like a bad karaoke nightmare that has caused earthquakes with Bob Marley rolling in his grave!!! No more baking special brownies for this little man! Later, dudster!

What Up With Ho's Bein' On Da Shows!!!

2008-05-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

The trend has begun for young troublemakers to guest star on television. Brit Brit first introduced the concept of mean girl gone good on "How I Met Your Mother" a few weeks ago which sent ratings thru the roof. Not so much that she did that good of a job. I think most people tuned in to see if the Britster was going to pull a cheeto out of her ass and talk in a british accent. Now she is set to reprise her role as the relationship challenged receptionist.

Following in her DUI footsteps is Lindsey Lohan who is going to appear on the hit show "Ugly Betty." Good news for Betty views, LiLo is a halfway decent actress. Let's just hope LiLo stays sober to make it thru. Rumor has it that she's already 20 sheets to the wind. Stay tuned!Partial photo credit to Worth1000.com for Lilo's cross-eyed appearance. I could have done my own but this one was so funny I decided to use it instead.

Update: actual pic of Lilo on Ugly Betty.

Wait... This Isn't Brit Brit???

2008-05-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

With that skank ass weave and those dimpled cheeks, I was sure this was Miss Spears! To my surprise it is OC alum and pot smoker extraordinaire, Misha Barton! Now we know the truth why she turned down the role on "Gossip Girl!" Girl, it is time to put down the bong and start working out.

Not Recommended By Podiatrists!!!

2008-05-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

This is just sick and wrong... but you know I LOVES it!!! So this icky cop in Pennsylvania paid under-aged girls a thousand dollars to suck his nasty toes. EEEWWWW!!! And you know after he beat his street, those dogs were gnarly.

The perv's name is Michael Curtin, 36-year-old and totally fired from his job as a Munhall police officer. Police say he supplied alcohol to at least three teenage girls. Police say the girls accused Curtin of touching them inappropriately.

Police also say Curtin made contact with two underage girls on MySpace.com and offered them $1,000 to allow him to kiss their feet and suck their toes.

Curtin is being held in Allegheny County Jail. Bail has been set at $100,000. Curtin's attorney has declined comment.

Seriously, myspace needs to clean up its act!!! It's all about Facebook anyway.

Kill Speidi!!! Part... Does It Ever End???

2008-05-02T17:27:00.001-07:00

These two would show up to the opening of a door!!! So here I am again, trying to kill these two with every power that I have!!! I've tried Jason, Jaws, Leatherface, Chucky... these idiots just can't stay home. I think they have the paps on their speed dial. Kill me now... this is never going to end. Speidi has turned their 15 minutes into forever. I might just have to give up and come to the conclusion that Speidi isn't going to die ever...

Elijah Wood Isn't Gay???

2008-04-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

So our spy witness Tay Tay was in Whole Foods on National last nite -- As she was buying some aged cheddar with a gouda crust at the cheese counter she noticed a short hobbit-like character walk by. At second glance, she realized it was THE hobbit... none other than Elijah Woods! True to form, Tay Tay stalked him thru the dairy aisle (like a lion bearing down on a helpless gazelle), where she couldn't help but notice him sucking face with his hobbit like girlfriend.

Again, since we are so broke ass here at HYG, Tay Tay's (our celebrity hound) camera phone is busted. So we will do our best describing him... He was wearing jeans, brown Sketcher shoes and tucked in/buttoned up blue and white checkered shirt.

Paula "Can't String A Sentence Together" Abdul Strikes Again!!!

2008-04-29T21:16:00.001-07:00

So, tonite on Idol, when asked to sum up the first round of songs (out of two -- the second not had not been sung yet), Paula critiqued both songs for Jason Dredlocks. Obviously in her drugged out stupor she was hearing double!!! My fav has to be like two seasons ago when she said... "Cereal in one hand and lettuce don't sing well." I'm hoping next week, she just spontaneously just yells out "Fish Taco!!!"

Has Ryan Seacrest Finally Jumped The Shark???

2008-04-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

I guess there are rumors floating around that the ratings on American Idol are so bad that producers of the show are blaming Ryan for the viewer drop-off.

However, TMZ says otherwise -- "In case you don't know, we have spies! We're told producers are privately laughing at the stories because the ratings are still through the roof and "Idol" pulls in a s**tload of money. And so does Ryan Seacrest, who ain't going nowhere."

Below is the Fonz jumping the shark just for shiz and giggs!!!

Eric Red and Michael Pare Go "100 Feet"!!!

2008-04-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

Later in the day at FangoCon, I went to check out a panel with Eric Red (The Hitcher/Body Parts/Bad Moon) and Michael Pare (Eddie and the Cruisers/Bad Moon/Streets of Fire) as they were there talking about their new scary movie "100 Feet"! I am a HUGE fan of Eric Red (as everyone knows) and I can't wait until this movie comes out. The film also stars Famke Janssen (X-Men) and Ed Westwick (Gossip Girl).

The film is about a woman (Famke) who has just been released from prison and is now under house arrest for killing her husband... unfortunately her hubby isn't over it! His ghost is in the house and it's time for a little payback!

Check out the trailer... it's freaking fierce, people!!!

Guess Who Went To FangoCon???

2008-04-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

So I totally got my freak on this weekend at Fangoria Magazine's "FangoCon"!!! This place was swarming with hard core horror fans -- loves it! Above I snuck a photo of Gunnar Hansen (aka Leatherface) signing autographs, as I was too cheap to pay the $20 all the "celebs" were charging for pics and autographs.

Also at the con there were a ton of people dressed up as psychos, but just as many girls wearing barely any clothes with blood dripping off them -- fierce!

Below is a pic of this crazy-ass bunny going around doing... well not much, but staring people down with his one freako eye. I totally didn't get the premise of the film he was promoting, even though he explained it to me like 4 times. Either I'm really slow... or the film makes no sense???

Two And A Half Celebrity Sightings

2008-04-25T16:57:00.001-07:00

While on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica today, Coco and I saw Jimmy Fallon and Michelle Rodriguez. Then Coco saw Jimmy again, so we considered it a half another sighting!!! Unfortunately, we don't have any of our own pics to document all the sightings we have -- as no one here seems to have a working camera in their phone.

I have decided it is time to add a donation button to the page. It doesn't have to be money, maybe just your old phone that kind of still works and has a semi functioning camera!!!

Yikes... Scientology Style!

2008-04-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

So, Coco here at HYG received this super spesh L. Ron Hubbard postcard in the mail yesterday!!! Apparently, the last person who lived at her apartment was a Scientologist... personally I'm going to keep my eye on her!

Any of you living in the Los Angeles area can have your brainwashed and your bank accounts emptied at the "Clear Body, Clear Mind" lecture! Getting in is completely free, but leaving will cost you your soul! Could Demi Moore be a Scientologist in Kabbalah's clothing??? See below for more info on Demi's soul sucking.

Be there or be hiding in your home curled up in the fetal position like me! P.S. the tiger stamp is Scientology Fierce!!!

Don't Drop The Soap, Wes!!!

2008-04-24T17:52:00.000-07:00

After being convicted of tax evasion and sentenced to 3 flippin' years in the clink, Wesley Snipes had this to say, "I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance" blah, blah, blah... What does that even mean??? Sounds like Scientology to me -- all that spiritual take the money and run mumbo jumbo! Pay your taxes, Mr. Snipes!!!

Leeches??? I Think Not!!!

2008-04-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

Demi Moore claims she stays young by being leeched... I say she's doing voodoo rituals over Ashton Kutcher's sleeping body and sucking the life right out of him. Also, her bevy of plastic surgeons don't hurt the cause of eternal youth for Ms. Gimme Moore (her industry pet name).

Ashton, this woman has stolen your soul... head to the nearest Indian tribe, chug some Peyote and chase your spirit down all Jim Morrison like.

Set Your TiVos!!!

2008-04-23T12:03:00.000-07:00

So, the beautiful and talented Missy Doty is going to be guest starring on "My Name Is Earl" next Thurs. (May 1) on NBC! This is very exciting news because Ms. Doty is Hey You Guys' fav actress! Recently, Missy has been recurring her character, Keira Walker (not to be confused with Walker, Texas Ranger), on NBC's "Las Vegas"!!!

Seperated At Birth!!!

2008-04-22T19:27:00.001-07:00

Not only do Richie Sambora and Michael Myers look alike, they have both been accused of child endangerment!

Happy Earth Day!!!

2008-04-22T11:18:00.001-07:00

This is a teaser for a short film (called "Earth Day") I made a few years ago with a friend of mine! Hope you enjoy!!!

The World Is Going To Pot... Part Deux!

2008-04-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

"Can I have a large pepperoni pizza and a dime bag???"

So, some Pizza Hut manager in Fort Smith, Arkansas sold marijuana from the drive thru window. Remember the good old days when you had to... ya know hide buying drugs??? Now it's just "do you want a joint with that?" I guess I'm just old fashioned!

Kate and Owen's Miami Romp???

2008-04-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

Looks more like "Weekend at Bernie's" to me! I think Owen's playing possum -- "Maybe if I play dead, she'll take her patchouli smelling ass somewhere's else." Seriously, we all know the girl smells like patchouli. I think Kate and Woody would make a better couple, they can just run around nude together frolicking among nature and shiz!

Happy Monday!

2008-04-21T11:03:00.001-07:00

Kill me now!

A Tribute To Jazz...

2008-04-18T16:38:00.000-07:00

This is my official 100th post on Hey You Guys and I wanted to dedicate it to Jazzy!!! Ashley, of the famed Assley's Corner, is the proud mommy of this amazing cat! Jazz was diagnosed with cancer this week and it has been hard on us all, but not as hard as it has been on Ash. We love you Ash and we are here for you.

I'm sorry to all my loyal 10 readers about posting something so heavy on a Friday afternoon, but this is important to me. The good news is, Jazz is still with us and we will def be having a party for him soon! Jazz is our "Rock of Love" mascot, always sitting aloofly on the keyboard of Ash's laptop, but I know inside he wanted Daisy to win.

We love you Jazz!!!

Coco's Freak Of The Week!!!

2008-04-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

So if you don't know who this is... it's Donny Osmond hosting my fav event of the year, Miss USA, presented by The Donald! If you didn't read my earlier post about it, this sucker was Trantastic! I swear these women were tucking!

Sarah Burke Is Fierce!!

2008-04-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

So, I was lucky enough at "The Billies" to sit next to the amazing and incomparable Sarah Burke. If you don't know who she is, you should!!! She is the fiercest skier who has taken Xtreme to the next level! She skis better than I... well do most anything! Also, we had a grand old time running around snapping pics of the celebs at the event. Below is Sarah posing with Drew Lachey and Sharon Osborne!!!

I Heart Elton John!

2008-04-18T15:58:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to attend "The Billies" (named after Billie Jean King -- who kicked some guy's ass in tennis during the '70s, then everyone burned their bras after the event) this week, which is the celebration of women in sports. Unfortunately, I don't know a thing about sports except where the nearest place I can get a beer. However, I did get to meet some fab athletes and Elton John played a fierce concert! I have never before considered myself a big Elton fan, but those days are over (at least according to my itunes bill)! I know how lame this is, but I only had my iPhone with me, so below is my pic of Elton singing! Also, the back of Sharon Osborne's head -- bonus points!

Kill Speidi Part 5!!!

2008-04-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

So soon??? Not a day goes by...

Didn't they break up in Las Vegas together??? What isn't a photo op for these two media whores? I swear they're going to invite the media in to their bathroom and show us how they keep their teeth so scary white! p.s. you know Spence sits when he tinks!

The World Is Going To Pot!!!

2008-04-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

So two a**hole teenagers from, I'm assuming the trailer parks of all trailer parks in Ohio, forced a 2-year-old baby to smoke pot! The brain dead teens were even stupid enough to videotape it. I can only imagine the scene taking place... "this is going to be so cool.. hee hee.. we can put it up on youtube" "tha's awesome.. hee hee..."

As if these two douche bags couldn't get any more stupid, they pawned the camera with the tape still in it! Luckily, the police have stepped in and are hopefully going to improve our small world by sending them to the clinker!

Speidi Is At It Again!!!

2008-04-15T17:20:00.001-07:00

Yet another installment of "Kill Heidi and Spencer." I wouldn't be forced to kill them with famous killers if they would just stop leaving the house!!!

When are these two going to learn that they need to head on down to their rightful place on the D-List celebrity status peg??? They should be cutting ribbons on the opening day of Miss Daisy's Piggly Wiggly rather than launching clothing lines and appearing on TRL. Honestly, what is wrong with us as a society that we keep buying mags with them on the cover???

Attention all paps -- stop taking their damn picture, yo!!!

Who's Yo' Daddy???

2008-04-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

This vid is so high-larious I can barely deal! Wait for Andrew to totally get jiggy with it and bring the house down! Show mama how you roll!!!

God Bless The Yankees!!!

2008-04-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm loving that Pope Benedict is coming to Yankee Stadium in a week and holding mass! If the Yankees can't take home the world series with that kind of blessing, I don't know what to tell ya...

Catholics are coming from all over the U.S. to grab a seat in the nose bleed section if they are lucky enough to get a ticket. I hope he rolls up in the Pope Mobile! It's the only way to ride!

Bret Michaels Is An Ass!!!

2008-04-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

Was Bret kidding last nite on the finale of VH1's "Rock of Love 2" when he chose Ambre over Daisy??? I'm sure there is a hanging chad somewhere here... I demand a recount!!! Call Jeb Bush!!!

As I'm sure you all have guessed, we are totally Team Daisy. Ambre was in it to win it and nothing more. She's all about boosting her career, not about nurturing Bret's heart. Okay, that was even too cheesy for me! I can't wait for the reunion show next week where I'm sure Bret and Ambre will announce that they are only going to be "good friends" -- also there are sure to be some Jerry Springer beat downs.

But seriously, can ya'll believe Bret chose this...

OVER THIS???

Scientology Imprint Or Just An Idiot???

2008-04-14T12:14:00.000-07:00

We have a lot to discuss about the weekend, but I'm going to start with Marie Osmond and her chicken scrawled hand. Donny and Marie hosted Miss USA on Friday nite and let me just start by saying the women in the program were nothing if not Trantastic!!! Literally, I think Wesley Snipes came out in his To Wong Foo gear and won it as Miss Texas!

So, I hosted a Miss USA party at my pad on Friday (we here at Hey You Guys throw a party for everything!). We decided the drinking game of the nite was going to be whenever Donny and Marie did something stupid. Cut to: ten minutes into the show and were all wasted!!!

If anyone can determine WTF is written on Marie's hand, I will feature anything you want on the blog this week.

Bingo Gets Ugly At McDonalds!

2008-04-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

Imagine enjoying a lovely game of BINGO and your seniored discounted Big Mac when suddenly a huge Caddy driven by a 90-year-old woman comes crashing through. Luckily, no one was hurt, but the BINGO game was over. Witnesses claim "there were BINGO spotters every where! And no one went home with the macrame owls."

Finally, A Sports Team I Can Get Behind!!!

2008-04-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

This is soooooo awesome!!! An all midget soccer team! I say "screw Beckham," let's get these guys in LA to play for the Galaxy! Their wives are probably way less annoying.

Ice... On Ice!!

2008-04-10T22:21:00.001-07:00

Super lame wanna-be rapper, Vanilla Ice (aka Robert Van Winkle) has been arrested (in Palm Beach) for kickin' the living crap out of his wife, Linda. He was arrested for the exact same thing back in 2004. She claims the fight was over a bedroom set she recently bought... he claims she's a crazy ass bipolar bitch and needs her meds. These two knuckle heads!!! They wouldn't win jack on The Newlywed Game!

To add insult to injury, animal control is still pissed at Vanil for letting his wallaroo and goat run wild in the streets.

What Is It About Daisy That Makes People Crazy???

2008-04-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

So, the crazies on myspace are at it again! Last month, I reported that Danielle and Kelly were stalking Daisy (http://myfavshiz.blogspot.com/2008/03/stalkerlicious.html) -- there have been updates that they continue their dirty work, but now there is a new psycho in town... jeffsbeautifulwife!!! I can't resist reporting this stuff!!! P.S. you all know that everyone here at Hey You Guys are "Rock of Love" addicts.

jeffsbeautifulwife intended this email for Daisy, but the crazy lady sent it to one of Daisy's many fan sites:I love how hillbilly the email is. This is soooooo stalkerlicious!!!!

R2D2 Is In Need Of Repair!!!

2008-04-10T15:25:00.000-07:00

According to TMZ, the guy who played R2D2, Kenny Baker was rushed to an English hospital last night immediately after getting off a plane from Chicago. Baker's son told reporters that the pint-sized star has problems with asthma, although friends initially thought the 73-year-old's condition was more serious.

Did anyone know there was someone in there?? I just figured he was remote controlled or something.

Kenny, May the force be with you!

Johnny Depp Is Getting Married!!!

2008-04-09T18:49:00.000-07:00

Finally, Mr. Depp is going to make an honest woman out of long-time girlfriend and babies-mama, Vanessa Paradis. Nups are supposed to take place on June 14th. It will be a low-key family affair -- with only 50 paparazzi helicopters circling above and about 1,000 stalkerazzis on the ground!

Nothing Is More Romantic Than A Nazi!!!

2008-04-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

So Tom Cruise's latest creepy opus, Valkyrie's release date has been pushed back (again) to February 13, 2009. Valentine's Day weekend??? Are they koo koo for coco puffs, or are Scientologists just that nutty?

United Artist claims the movie is so good that they had to push back the date to a bigger weekend. I love how Tom Cruise's studio says Tom Cruise's movie is that good... like they're going to say it sucks ass like the last movie they released "Lions For Lambs" (what the hell does that title even mean?). Let's be honest, the only cool thing Tom has produced in the last few years is Suri!!! She's just so darn cute!

Das Boot!!!

2008-04-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

Adam Carolla needs to stick with what he does best... talking about man stuff!!! The sex advice not-so-guru was ousted from "Dancing with the Stars" this week, giving Priscilla Presley aka Jiffy Face another week to dance her botox off! Next year, please get Steve-O on the show, as Carolla is only one step above the Jackass alum.

Happily Ever After... Again???

2008-04-08T16:19:00.000-07:00

The romantic fairy tale continues for Pamela Anderson as she rotates back to one of her old flames, Chris Angel. Pam is notorious for her stable of men and keeps adding to it. Soon she will be back with Kid Rock/Tommy Lee/Rick Solomon/anyone who wants to catch Hep C!!!

Also, thanks to the folks at E!, we will shortly have our eyes burned out as Pamela stars in her own reality show (big surprise) called... wait for it... "Pamela" -- I know it was a let down for me, too.

Indiana Jones And The Cave Of Cannabis!!!

2008-04-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

Turns out Harrison Ford and his co-star Shia Leboeuf are passing the Dutchie to the left hand side. Allegedly, the action stars have been "Jones"-ing for a little weed on the set of their new film "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" (p.s. what a flipping mouthful)!

Apparently, Shia's hippy dad is getting in on the action as well. A family that smokes pot together gets high together!

On a personal note, I have personally witnessed Harrison Ford smoking pot in his car in the parking lot of the Stagecoach bar in Jackson Hole, WY (where he has his primary residence) -- so I do believe this story could be true.

Ain't Nothin' Goin' On But The Rent!!!

2008-04-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

This is totally sad. Rachel Dratch has been out of work for so long she's decided to whine about it publicly. Recently when asked what she's been up to, she told the press, “Maybe you can tell me. I know you’re supposed to come up with fake stuff you’re doing. But honestly, I’m not doing much.” I'm warming up my violin to play a sad song for her and her sob story.

Listen, Rach, Hollywood will kick you in the balls if you let it. Whip out a new mug shot, a sex tape... maybe a racial slur. Girl, get your shiz together!!! You can do it!

Honeymoon Suite???

2008-04-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

A couple from Vallejo, CA got so rowdy this past weekend that they spent their wedding nite in the big house!!! I guess when police responded to the many calls that nite, the groom and his hillbilly cousin "became aggressive" (in trailer park speak that means "went ape sh*t on") with the authorities at the scene -- both bitches got Tasered! Kodak moment!!!

Then wifey went postal and was arrested shortly thereafter for "public intoxication" (i.e. ripping off her top and attacking police).

All I want to know is, where was my invite to this festive little shin-dig???